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  • Pat­rina M. Clark, SPHR, HCS, RACC
    Speaker | Trainer | Con­sul­tant | Coach

One of my girl­friends and I still laugh about some­thing that hap­pened at an Eric Benét con­cert at the leg­endary Birch­mere in Alexan­dria, Vir­ginia well over a year ago. More impor­tantly than giv­ing us a great laugh from time to time, I have found it to be of tremen­dous ben­e­fit when I need a lit­tle self-​confidence booster to “just do me.”

We were sit­ting front row with sev­eral other True Eric Benét fans (aka TrueEBs) hav­ing our­selves a great time – which is always the case. As we were leav­ing the venue, a woman approached my girl­friend and said “I saw you down front. Frankly, you were doing too much.”

About 10 years ago, I was diag­nosed with scle­ro­derma, an autoim­mune dis­ease where basi­cally the body turns on itself and begins to attack healthy cells. It is a chronic dis­ease that affects about 300,000 and for which there is presently not a cure.

For­tu­nately, I was diag­nosed with the less severe form of the dis­ease, known as Lim­ited Sys­temic Scle­ro­derma. And, while I cer­tainly have some chal­lenges, I am mind­ful that it could be con­sid­er­ably more chal­leng­ing (which, inter­est­ingly, I observe to be true about most things — per­spec­tive is a won­der­ful thing).

Expect­ing to be told no can become a self-​fulfilling prophecy … as is true with any expec­ta­tion. In the case of expec­ta­tions, it is true because it usu­ally stops us from sim­ply mak­ing our requesrs known. This is gen­er­ally a learned behav­ior that, for many, is learned early in child­hood where we’re admon­ished to “stop ask­ing for so much” and “just be happy with what you have.”