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  • Pat­rina M. Clark, SPHR, HCS, RACC
    Speaker | Trainer | Con­sul­tant | Coach

The Power of Projection

Almost every­one has had the expe­ri­ence of meet­ing some­one and either feel­ing an imme­di­ate attrac­tion to or strong lik­ing for the per­son. The oppo­site expe­ri­ence is also true, where we imme­di­ately decide we do not like someone.

The best – and most empow­er­ing – expla­na­tion I ever received for this hap­pened when I attended a Deb­bie Ford (www​.deb​bieford​.com) work­shop. Shortly after the ses­sion started, Deb­bie invited us to share our impres­sions of her.

Too often we make love con­di­tional or cir­cum­stan­tial. We love some­one “until” or “as long as.” Doing so gives us a sense of con­trol or power over the sit­u­a­tion. How­ever, the love expe­ri­ence is intended to be a free-​flowing expe­ri­ence – an expe­ri­ence that we allow to carry us away. Some­times, we are car­ried to the high­est heights; other times, to the low­est lows. All of the places love car­ries us can instill greater clar­ity – both about who we are and what our soul needs. We need only allow our­selves to freely flow, observe, and learn.

I used to say that hap­pi­ness should not be the goal – that instead, we should strive for peace, or peace­ful­ness. I had that per­spec­tive because of the famous quote from the Bible that speaks to hav­ing a peace that passes all under­stand­ing. To me, it made peace sound much more desir­able because it seemed to sup­port oper­at­ing more con­sis­tently with­out rad­i­cal highs and lows. Well, I’ve amended my thinking.