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  • Pat­rina M. Clark, SPHR, HCS, RACC
    Speaker | Trainer | Con­sul­tant | Coach
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Being pre­dictable is a part of being human. Our brains are actu­ally wired to embed habits, increas­ing the num­ber of things we can do on autopi­lot. As essen­tial as autopi­lot is to our sur­vival, it’s impor­tant to our hap­pi­ness — to our mov­ing beyond sur­viv­ing to thriv­ing — to ocas­sion­ally take our­selves off of autopi­lot and assess what’s really going on.

“Change in all things is sweet.” – Aris­to­tle

An unde­ni­able truth about the phys­i­cal uni­verse is that change is con­stant. From the tini­est known par­ti­cles on Earth to an esti­mated 500 bil­lion galax­ies in our uni­verse, every­thing is in motion. All that is will change, momentarily.

The same prin­ci­ple does not auto­mat­i­cally apply when it comes to the way we do things in life and how we feel. You can resist chang­ing your ways quite suc­cess­fully – even at the risk of your own hap­pi­ness and health – or you can change. It’s your choice.

Feel­ing stag­nant? Unful­filled? Ask your­self this ques­tion, “When was the last time I met a per­sonal goal?” Goal set­ting isn’t just good for busi­ness, it’s good for your soul. When you set the mark and reach it, the action res­onates deeply in your inner man. From one suc­cess, you go to another, until you are star­ing a long term goal in the face — and you are wear­ing a sat­is­fy­ing smile! So how do we get to that place? Let’s take this step by step.

It had been more than two years since the divorce with very lit­tle con­tact since then. The split had been ami­ca­ble and civil, and there did not appear to be any latent hos­til­ity or regret. At the same time, both had con­structed sto­ries about the rela­tion­ship that allowed them to move for­ward with their lives in a “pos­i­tive” way. It’s human nature to want to ratio­nal­ize and jus­tify … but that is where the ego lies, where head brain analy­sis allows us to con­struct the sto­ries that we believe best serve us.

Most of us are famil­iar with the def­i­n­i­tion of insan­ity … doing the same thing over and over again and expect­ing a dif­fer­ent result. The know­ing smile we give when we hear it, though, may just be a clue that despite our under­stand­ing the def­i­n­i­tion, we rec­og­nize our own ten­den­cies to do just that. The good news is that we are bio­log­i­cally pre­dis­posed to this behav­ior, so it doesn’t mean we’re insane; it means we’re human.

I see myself play­ing three dis­tinct roles in my life: pas­sive (pow­er­less) observer, con­scious observer, and pow­er­ful cre­ator. This morn­ing in an exchange with a very dear friend, I used a roller­coaster ride to describe the three roles.

Ever have the feel­ing that your heart has a mind of its own? Turns out you were right. Ever acted on a hunch that you really couldn’t explain log­i­cally but you felt very strongly that it was the right thing to do?

Neu­ro­science — the sci­en­tific study of the ner­vous sys­tem — is really help­ing us bet­ter under­stand the impor­tance of the body, heart, and mind con­nec­tion. And, it turns out that our hearts and our gut do indeed have minds of their own.

Find­ing the sweet spot between the two could be our ticket to bliss

Remem­ber that beer com­mer­cial – tastes great, less fill­ing. Well, that’s the inspi­ra­tion for today’s blog … sort of.

One of the real­i­ties of being human is that, gen­er­ally speak­ing, the older we get, the more our deci­sions become head-​based rather than heart-​based.

The Power of Projection

Almost every­one has had the expe­ri­ence of meet­ing some­one and either feel­ing an imme­di­ate attrac­tion to or strong lik­ing for the per­son. The oppo­site expe­ri­ence is also true, where we imme­di­ately decide we do not like someone.

The best – and most empow­er­ing – expla­na­tion I ever received for this hap­pened when I attended a Deb­bie Ford (www​.deb​bieford​.com) work­shop. Shortly after the ses­sion started, Deb­bie invited us to share our impres­sions of her.

Too often we make love con­di­tional or cir­cum­stan­tial. We love some­one “until” or “as long as.” Doing so gives us a sense of con­trol or power over the sit­u­a­tion. How­ever, the love expe­ri­ence is intended to be a free-​flowing expe­ri­ence – an expe­ri­ence that we allow to carry us away. Some­times, we are car­ried to the high­est heights; other times, to the low­est lows. All of the places love car­ries us can instill greater clar­ity – both about who we are and what our soul needs. We need only allow our­selves to freely flow, observe, and learn.

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